I Knew: Poem by Mercedes Robinson

I knew. . .

From the very begining I knew
I knew I could love you, care for you, want to be with you. . .
And not specifically in that order
The walls and barriors of my heart began to fall from the very moment I looked into your eyes
The disguise that I wore trying to hide the pain I felt inside came to its demise
Once I saw your face. . .I knew
Damn. . .I just knew
But things changed. . .
No longer the same as when you first came to my domain, and not in vain, for that final kiss goodbye
Until I see you again. . .
I knew as time would pass, feelings would grow
And they did for me, I don't know about you though
I hid it well but everyone I knew seemed to know
From how I smiled every time you were brought up, to how my heart skipped when you did the littlest stuff
Sad to say, its like I could never get enough
I thought everything was all good
But now I see it's not the same
And. . .I knew
You would think that normally things PROGRESS in this game
This game of love, of intimacy, of trust and fulfillment
I now see that with you that is not the case
And once again. . .I knew
The look on my face when I fell back in this emotional race was of utter shock and total distaste as I seen my place seemingly decrease
Yet I knew. . .
From head runner, first place in your heart. . .
To runner up. . .the distance seeming further apart
And in the matter of moments I was last
Last behind your "me time"
Last behind your friends
Last behind things that didn't even matter in the end
But I kept running. . .trying not to give in
Trying to catch up. . .trying harder to win
But there is no pleasing you anymore
Nothing I do seems to be right
I was taught never to give up on a fight
But now. . .on this very day. . .
I feel its time to take off my running shoes and simply walk away
Because I knew. . .