You: A Poem by Krystal E. Ellis

In response to your pain
I call out your name
Waiting... patiently
hoping you feelin' the same

People to blame

For tryin' to keep us apart
the key to my heart
you hold
so now my lovin' can start

Yet it's hard

'cause there's some love that i must throw away
These words that i say
are the feelings that i feel everyday

But i may

Destroy myself for trying to mess with you
'cause i can't stop you from tryna do the things you wanna do
these words that i say are true
look at me from a different view
I open up my eyes wide so that you can see you are my boo

I open up my legs too

The lust i feel is something new
all these sexual sounds got me feelin'
like we in a zoo

Realization comes to mind
as i feel you deep inside
hope we don't get no family ties
you climax and then i sigh...

As i rise

Gays & Love: A piece by Chase Manhattan

Hello Young World... Sike naw ! 

Fuck is up!!! First let me say, this post will offend sum and enlighten others. My bestie Krystal asked me to speak on gays and love. I honestly don't get it, but as she told me I keep it 210% real. And I do ALL THE TIME!!! 


 Soo we are here today to discuss Gays (homosexuals, lesbians, transgendered etc.) and Love. My personal view on this is, depending on what type of gay you are ( refer back to the previous sentence), monogamy might work for you. I personally think that gay men can't be monogamous, because we are dogs. I have seen some successful couples do their thing. But, for every one good couple, there are seven bad. For instance, ( I'm telling this as i inhale a newport) today I met up with this dude who BY FAR just wanted sex, but I was cool with that ( I'm single by the way). He asked me to his villa, I obliged, and when I got there ( it smelled like fresh fried chicken amongst other things) we had small talk, a drink, and then we went on to the deed....... So when we conclude, he starts rambling on about him and his boyfriend and the fight they had. I gagged a lil bit, because I THOUGHT going into the situation, that all parties were, in fact, single. Shame on me right? Sad that I found out the TRUE T after the fact. So I say all of that to say this: Is it possible for gay men (because that's what I am)  to have and maintain a stable relationship?


Well, I hope so, because at some point in life that is what I wish to strive for. And although most gays think that after a few drinks, a night of hot sex, and sum coffee, we instantly have a relationship, I don't think like that ( sex first, and if it was good, maybe coffee). It's 2009, we have a black president; I really think anything is possible, even gay love. 


I got this crush ... next post .....


Chase Manhattan
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Mischievous-radio 

Give it 100%: Ingredients of a Relationship

"I wanna give you... all my love... even if I don't have... all your trust....... "

                                                                                     --Ryan Leslie


Specific to the topic of love, a relationship is a connection between two people having romantic dealings with each other. This is a generality I think that we can all agree on. But what exactly are relationships built on??? What are the ingredients used to form a relationship, to keep it going, and to grow & prosper within it??? And once you figure out what ingredients to use to mix a relationship together, how much if it do you put in, and how long do you let it bake???

A couple of my writers have already touched on a few essential ingredients needed to form a relationship: Attention, Communication, and Creativity. Amongst those are a few other important ingredients that need to be thrown in: Trust... Selflessness... Understanding... Care... & Patience. THESE qualities are what build a strong foundation for ANY relationship. Yes, there's sex & attraction, desire &  temptation, and all of those other beautiful feelings that come when another person ignites that fire in your body. But I'm talking long-term, I'm talking about when you can't screw your way out of a fight, or when that fire you felt when you first met simmers. Because when the Sensuality & Sexuality of a relationship fades, it is those basic qualities that you have to fall back on. When the hard times come, it's qualities such as trust & communication that keep you afloat. When you think you can't take anymore, it's patience & understanding that will keep you together. When your own happiness is no longer the most important thing in your life, it's the selflessness in your relationship that will pull you closer.

Just as important as the ingredients that you put into a relationship, are the amounts that you use, and that should ALWAYS BE 100%, no exceptions. Whether things are good or bad, you should always give your all, because at the end of the day, the satisfaction of knowing that you did all you could do is enough to get you through. Sure, things can get hard, and qualities like trust & understanding are really hard to give 100% of, but you owe it to both your partner and yourself to GIVE IT YOUR ALL!!! A relationship is about sacrifice and collaboration, and if both parties are not giving it their all, if they're giving 85% here & 20% there, then why be in it??? I'm sure you've all been told all your life that to truly succeed at something, you have to put your heart, tears, strength, sweat, and time into it, 100%.


So here's my recipe for a relationship:

Ingredients:
100% Communication
100% Understanding
100% Attention
100% Creativity
100% Trust
100% Care
100% Selflessness
100% Patience

Directions:
Combine all ingredients into you & your partners life, and incorporate them into all aspects of your relationship. Use when you're tired, use when you disagree, use when you're having fun, and use when you just want to show that that you care. Don't be afraid to get hurt, don't be afraid to mess up, don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to fight, don't be afraid to love, & don't be afraid to give. Use 100% of all ingredients, because they were proven for success. Make a promise to yourself, and to your partner, that you will keep persevering until you both decide that it's time for the kitchen to close. And most importantly, HAVE FUN, because love is beautiful.

Bake time: 
Infinite!!! Continue to prosper for as long as you possibly can. Cherish the good times, and learn from the bad. Don't give up and don't give in. And remember, this is the one thing that gets better the longer you let it bake.

Xoxo,
Krystal E. Ellis

Keeping It Fresh: A Piece by Jae W. Jones

Ok, so as I talk to my friends and co-workers, roam the streets of DC, MD & VA (DMV) & go on social networks, I constantly hear both males & females stating that there relationship is going STALE. I am writing this blog to give you tips, ideas & suggestions to "KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP FRESH."

    Let me start off by saying if you haven’t been in a relationship at least 1yr, this may not apply to you yet, but you can still gain some knowledge lol. After conducting a street survey, I realized a lot of breakups seem to happen within a 1-3 year period, because relationships go stale, they become predictable, boring, they lose fire etc. Keeping a relationship fresh is pretty hard work, I must admit. I am currently in a 3yr relationship & I have done things I would never have imagined I’d do, but when you LOVE someone, you should be able & WILLING to take that extra step.

   The key to KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP FRESH is CREATIVITY! Before you can begin the creativity process, you must first discuss with your partner the reasons why you feel ya’lls relationship is stale. Remember, keep an open mind & just listen. Once you have gathered all the facts, that’s when you begin the creativity process!

For example, if your relationship has lost its fun factor because your careers have taken over, here are some suggestions to help: Go back to the basics and remember all the FUN things you did when you were dating or when you first began the relationship. If money is tight, try doing fun things like putt-putt golfing, bowling, taking walks in the parks, carnivals, county fairs, playing board games, playing a sport of choice etc. If money is right & you can afford to spend, try going on a dinner cruise, going to a play or concert, going to a resort near you, or taking a vacation somewhere nice, etc. 

Remember, when being creative you don’t have do something huge, or something that’s going to break your pockets. Do something that financially fits you. Small events are just as nice as big events.

    And if you’re having Sexual/Bedroom Issues you can still be Creative & go out of the box! I’m not going to comment on the topic right now, ya’ll just have to keep checking in. Remember to "KEEP IT FRESH" you have to be CREATIVE!

Jae W. Jones aka Voice of the Streets

Communication & Relationships: You Can't Have One Without the Other

"The problem with communication... is the illusion that it has been accomplished."

- George Bernard Shaw

Hola Everyone!!!!!! How goes it??? Yes yes, I'm back with yet some more inspirational stuff to say lol.  Today I'm touching on the importance of communication and how absolutely essential it is for successful relationships. You'd be so surprised about how many people (including my self sometimes) don't know this, so let's be on with it!!!

Communication is defined as "the imparting or interchanges of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs."

In my opinion, communication means different things to different people. For you, communication might only include speaking in some way, be it face-to-face, over the phone, etc. To another person, communication could also include, text messaging, emailing, or the non-verbal cues that so many of us use to say the things that we may not be able to say out loud. No matter what your definition of communication is, the important part is that it's done, through whatever medium you prefer. The problem is, there are so many people who are in relationships where there's a lack communication, the communication is done by all one person, or there is a breach in successful communication, because of differences in opinions and ideas. But without communication, a relationship (and please note, when i say relationships, I'm referring to romantic ones) can never truly be fulfilling.

Now, before I go any further with my preaching. let me be up front with ya'll about myself, because I'm definitely one of those people who may not be the best communicator, esp. when it comes to my relationship. My boyfriend will be the first one to tell you, I am quick to jump the gun and hop on that speed boat to Angerville at the drop of a dime, before I even hear what he has to say about the situation. Both him and I have very strong personalities, and with that comes a set of different opinions and ideas on what may, or may not be, the correct thing to say or do in a situation. Strangely enough, he's more willing to discuss an issue that he's having with me than i am. I do something he doesn't like, he tells me, I say okay got it i'll try and fix that, if need be we discuss it, and then we go on happily. HE does something I don't like, I get mad and stop talking to him, all the while going off about what a complete bastard he is to one (or all lol oopsie) of my best friends, and THEN, after some coercing from him, I tell him what the issue is, and we deal with it. To say the least, this is NOT effective. Anyway, eventually (eventually meaning after like 18 trillion fights) I realized that I was going about our relationship all the wrong way, and I needed to calm my crazy ass down, shut up, listen, and collaborate with him to figure out ways to fix our issues, like he does for me. We talked about it... I promised to communicate better, he apologized for saying stupid things (oopsie, I meant to say things I disagree with ;) ), and we've been better ever since.

The point is, a relationship is a partnership, and a partnership is a collaboration between two (or more, if that's the way ya'll roll ;) ) people, working towards a common goal, in this case, that goal being harmony. In a partnership, there is no "I" or "You"... there's "WE", and without communicating with each other, how are "WE" ever supposed to work towards creating harmony. My boyfriend told me one day, "I can't read your mind!!! I don't always know what you want..." and that made me realize that unless people speak up, how in the HELL do they expect to get the things that they desire. NO ONE can read someone's mind. All we can do is go by the verbal and/or non-verbal cues that we are given.

SO... think about your relationship. What issues do you and your partner have??? Why do you have these issues??? What can possibly be done to fix these issues??? And then, once you've thought about that, sit down with your partner and talk to them about it. Figure out ways that you can work together to make certain aspects of your relationship better, think about things that can be done to eradicate bad habits, and then think about the pet peeves that you and your partner have with each other, and figure out ways to fix them.

THE GOAL of all this is to go from several areas of conflict... to a few... to only a couple.

THE POINT is to learn to SPEAK UP!!!!!!!

So many of our issues stem from us not saying anything about a particular behavior or situation, and when it keeps occurring over and Over and OVER again, we just sit quietly, while the anger in us builds up, and eventually... we EXPLODE!!!

Let's eradicate that horrible habit we have!!!

Let's promise to identify the source(s) of annoyance we have in our relationship and communicate them to our partners!!!

Let's stop being so headstrong , and learn to just listen!!!

Let's agree to disagree on some things, and then work out a compromise on others!!!

Simply put...

LET'S START COMMUNICATING!!!!!!

I promise you that your relationship will be better for it :).

You can thank me later hahaha.

XoXo,

Krystal E. Ellis

The Struggle to Stay Happy: a Piece by Treasure Pinkston

I feel honored to write this blog about the struggles in my relationship. I hope that the people who read this will learn from my mistakes and grow from it. 

My relationship has been on and off for the past 12 years and we’ve had a lot of problems since day 1. The number one problem when we first started was distance. We communicated only through letters and phone calls. After a while, the distance killed us and we reached out to other people, rather than each other.  We didn’t last long, but love brought us together once again and we gave it another try.

Things were fine until people started coming into the relationship, mainly my friends. They eventually became problem number two. By this time, distance was no longer a problem. My friends judged my boyfriend for what he didn’t have rather than his personality. We, as a couple, struggled, because we were constantly fighting my friends. I grew tired of the situation and we just parted ways. I jeopardized my happiness for my friends. I wasn’t happy with my decision and neither was he. So, I came up with the idea to date my boyfriend secretly.  Eventually, he grew tired of my always lying to my friends and I had to make a decision to tell them or lose him. I told them and that’s when the real drama started.

The lying turned into fighting which resulted in him neglecting me. It really bothered me that he was neglecting me, so I turned to someone else and I cheated. That was one of the worst things I could ever have done. Yes, he didn’t pay attention, but I should have talked to him first and let him know what was going on before I went to someone else. Thank god me cheating didn’t end our relationship. It was a struggle to get past, still is, but we sat down and talked about our plans and feelings.  

Since then, we have worked through each problem by talking it out. Each time we ran into a situation, we could have let it end us, but we didn’t. No matter what the situation is, communication and understanding is the key to any relationship, along with compromise, quality time, and security.  I’m glad that my relationship has survived throughout all the struggles and hardships, but I know that it’s not over yet.

Treasure Pinkston

I Knew: Poem by Mercedes Robinson

I knew. . .

From the very begining I knew
I knew I could love you, care for you, want to be with you. . .
And not specifically in that order
The walls and barriors of my heart began to fall from the very moment I looked into your eyes
The disguise that I wore trying to hide the pain I felt inside came to its demise
Once I saw your face. . .I knew
Damn. . .I just knew
But things changed. . .
No longer the same as when you first came to my domain, and not in vain, for that final kiss goodbye
Until I see you again. . .
I knew as time would pass, feelings would grow
And they did for me, I don't know about you though
I hid it well but everyone I knew seemed to know
From how I smiled every time you were brought up, to how my heart skipped when you did the littlest stuff
Sad to say, its like I could never get enough
I thought everything was all good
But now I see it's not the same
And. . .I knew
You would think that normally things PROGRESS in this game
This game of love, of intimacy, of trust and fulfillment
I now see that with you that is not the case
And once again. . .I knew
The look on my face when I fell back in this emotional race was of utter shock and total distaste as I seen my place seemingly decrease
Yet I knew. . .
From head runner, first place in your heart. . .
To runner up. . .the distance seeming further apart
And in the matter of moments I was last
Last behind your "me time"
Last behind your friends
Last behind things that didn't even matter in the end
But I kept running. . .trying not to give in
Trying to catch up. . .trying harder to win
But there is no pleasing you anymore
Nothing I do seems to be right
I was taught never to give up on a fight
But now. . .on this very day. . .
I feel its time to take off my running shoes and simply walk away
Because I knew. . .

Attention: The Little Things Mean the Most

What's good people, it's ya boy Nick, checking in to discuss one thing that I think should be considered as one of the most important parts of a relationship... Attention. Attention is imperative, because if you don't show your partner that, TRUST AND BELIEVE they are going to find someone else who will. Don't think for not one minute that you can put up a fight, but then once you get what you want, you can just get comfortable.

This is my scenario: My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time. I have given her everything that I have in me, and as a man, it's very hard for me to open up. Recently, she's started to ignore me, and I really don't understand why. We have been through too much for her to start thinking she can get comfortable enough to neglect me. Don't get me wrong, I understand that sometimes she can't always talk to me, but it's gotten to a point now where she's NEVER making any time for me, although I try daily to get in touch with her. And this situation is not good, because I'm getting hit 360 degrees by women everyday, and it's starting to become hard to deal with. Even though I keep my head low and I blow through it, that's no reason for her to think that she can slack off, but expect me to stay around and just take it. Just like Beyonce said, "don't think you're irreplaceable".

You can give your significant other attention in so many ways; calls or texts just to say I love you or I miss you, making time to cuddle and watch a movie, or making time to just talk. Like I said before, there are a lot of people that might be looking to take your spot, but if you do what you need to do, and you're on your job, you have nothing to worry about. You have to remind your partner all the time that they are loved. Men, let your woman know that you are capable of protecting them; remind them what team they're on. Women, listen... I know ya'll crazy asses are independent (I love ya'll for that), but, at the same time, your man is there for a lot of things... one is to provide, and another is to protect you by any means. I know ya'll are strong, but men have to feel needed... so ya'll don't have to be strong ALL the damn time, lol. The same thing goes for men... IF YOU CAN'T BE WEAK AROUND YOUR PARTNER, WHO CAN YOU BE WEAK AROUND.

I feel that the majority of relationships fail because of a lack of attention, which can cause someone to cheat, or leave all together. Your partner is just that, YOUR PARTNER, someone that you can tell anything to, do anything with; your teammate. Once you commit to a relationship, the "I" turns into "US". You are the head coach and your partner is the Kobe Bryant or the Michael Jordan, the most essential player you have. You don't put them on the bench, because there is a scout out there that will pick your player off, and you will basically be "assed out".

In conclusion, attention is, in my opinion, very important in a relationship, because what you don't do, SOMEBODY ELSE WILL. Signing out until next time... God Bless and Take Care.

Nick A. Lee

Interview with Nick A. Lee: Precursor to "Attention: The Little Things Mean the Most"

A great friend of mine, Nick A Lee, has written a piece on how essential it is to show your partner attention in a relationship. Although his piece won't be posted till Wednesday, 9/30, I was lucky enough to grab him for an interview as a little sneak peak at what his thoughts are about attention, relationships, and the reasons why men and women cheat. This is what he had to say:

Krystal Ellis: So Mr. Lee, just how important is attention in a relationship?

Nick A. Lee: I think it's one of the top things in a relationship, under trustworthiness, communication, and intimacy. You don't want to put aside your significant other, because when they realize that they're not getting any attention from you, they're going to go somewhere else to find it.

KE: Are we talking breaking up or are we talking cheating?

NAL: There are many things that come from not getting attention. If you're being neglected, and someone else comes along and gives you that missing piece of emotion that your significant other hasn't been giving you, that can mean a lot. That could make or break the relationship.

KE: Okay Nick, I just thought about this from what you said, and I want to get your opinion on it. Would you say that when it's sex that you're missing in a relationship, you cheat, but when it's an emotional connection that you're missing in a relationship, that's when you leave?

NAL: That's an excellent question. For women, I think 90% of them cheat, because they're missing something emotionally. For men, I think 90% cheat, because they see that piece of ass that's willing to give it up. Many times, that man is going to take that opportunity, no matter how much his woman is doing for him. As for women, when they have their man at home, acting right, giving her 98% or more, she won't do anything, no matter who rolls up, because she's thinking," what can he do for me that my man isn't already doing?"

KE: Okay, so when do people leave?

NAL: I agree with what you said, that leaving is based on emotions. If you really love this person, even if their sex game isn't right, you think about all the other things they do for you, and nothing else even matters. I honestly believe that 85% of relationships end, because of emotional insecurity; because of some emotional issue. I mean, about 5 out of 8 of my relationships have ended, because of a lack of emotional stability, sometimes on me, sometimes on the girl. This is why I get a little upset when women say "men aren't shit", when really, the only reason why we're getting put out there like that is, because we're the only one's being exposed. In my opinion, women are capable of doing the same things, but they're just slicker with theirs. There's a lot of women doing good men dirty, because he may not have enough, because he may be at the bottom, even though he has a plan to get to the top. And instead, they're getting with a dude who's an asshole, because he has the money. That's what a lot of them are looking for, easy money.

KE: You say that men are being profiled as dirty, and yet you also just said yourself that men can't help but cheat, regardless of the fact that they have a good woman at home. Is that not dirty? Not saying that women aren't capable of the same thing, but as you said, if we have something good at home, we're less likely to leave... less likely to mess it up. So, how does this put men in the clear?

NAL: I mean, even though every man has that gene in their body, that reproduction-by-any-means gene, you also have that thing in the back of your head that tells you to stop. To control it. But, the game is so messed up right now, that when there IS a good dude out there, chances are, the female will end up doing HIM dirty. It's a nasty game now. Men aren't how they used to be, women aren't how they used to be. I CAN understand where women are coming from. They've been dogged out for so long, that in their mind, they're like, "well I need to dog this dude out, before he gets to me", and once they get that in their brain, it's over, THAT'S IT, and they may mess up a good thing. BUT, you also have to look at it like, if a female has been dating since she was 15, and she's 30 something now, and she's STILL saying men aren't shit, then maybe she needs to reevaluate herself. She probably isn't attracting the right type of man.

KE: Rolling back to your original topic on attention, how does this all tie in?

NAL: Attention is a VERY important part of the relationship. You can have trust, and communication, and all that, but without the attention, it doesn't work. You have to make your significant other feel wanted, you have to take time out of your schedule just to let the other person know that you're thinking about them. A person is going to do what they want to do regardless, but attention is a requirement when trying to prevent your significant other from going out of bounds in your relationship. Without attention, no matter what else you have, the relationship isn't complete. You can't just have one thing and not the other. A relationship is a compilation of everything.

KE: Well Nick, thank you. I look forward to reading your piece on Wednesday.

NAL: Thank you, and I look forward to posting it and seeing how many people relate to it.

The Importance of Knowing What to Look For

Knowing what to look for in a person is ABSOLUTELY one of the most important things you need to know, before you go searching for a relationship. In order to avoid allowing all kinds of riff raff into your life, it is important that you have clearly defined rules on what you will and will not allow a person to do while they are with you. I was fortunate enough to get a friend of mine to write a personal piece on why it's important to him to know what to look for in a woman. I hope that you take something from it:


Hi, my name is Amir and, well, I’m new to this. Currently, I am listening to the Purple Rain album while I write this piece about knowing the qualities that you look for in a person, when pursuing a relationship.

 I have been hurt many times in the past, being used as a pawn to help someone feel better about themselves, not realizing at the time that they were only pretending to like me as an act of kindness. It was so hurtful and confusing to be used as an ego booster for someone. It hurt to be used physically, to be kissed and held by someone, only for them to tell me later that I must be too good to be true, and that I remind them of someone who hurt them in the past. Another girl pretended to have all the qualities I was looking for in a woman, because she knew that I would treat her right. However, her actions proved otherwise, and I ended up being broken in the process.

I felt like I was being hurt so many times, because I didn’t know what I was looking for. So I wrote down a list of all the qualities that I looked for in a woman. However, I made the mistake of showing it to a girl whom I was talking to, and, as I mentioned previously, she tried to project all of these qualities onto herself, although her actions did not validate them. Since then, I have learned not to show anyone my list, but instead use it as a private mental checklist to ensure that I find what I am looking for.

Now, I know some people might say that I’m silly for formulating a list of qualities that I’m looking for, and expecting to find them all, but when you’re single, or even if you’re with someone, and nothing is working out, you give anything a try. When you write this list of “goals” that you have for your relationship, it’s like your mind focuses on them, and locks it in, and what you’re looking for actually comes. I did this recently, and someone came into my life who I had a real connection with. She had so many of the qualities on my list, but she also had qualities that I knew would hurt me in the future, so we mutually parted ways. Even though it didn’t work out, it was still a better experience than my pasts ones, because I knew that the qualities she possesed were actually real, and weren’t fabricated in order to conform to my ideals of a perfect woman.

I’m hoping that the people reading this aren’t thinking, “this guy asks for too much, he has too many requirements.” Lol,  I just don’t settle for less, because often times when you just freestyle the relationship, you get hurt. I hope that you understand where I’m coming from, and that this helps you in some way.

-Amir Muhammad