Interview with Nick A. Lee: Precursor to "Attention: The Little Things Mean the Most"

A great friend of mine, Nick A Lee, has written a piece on how essential it is to show your partner attention in a relationship. Although his piece won't be posted till Wednesday, 9/30, I was lucky enough to grab him for an interview as a little sneak peak at what his thoughts are about attention, relationships, and the reasons why men and women cheat. This is what he had to say:

Krystal Ellis: So Mr. Lee, just how important is attention in a relationship?

Nick A. Lee: I think it's one of the top things in a relationship, under trustworthiness, communication, and intimacy. You don't want to put aside your significant other, because when they realize that they're not getting any attention from you, they're going to go somewhere else to find it.

KE: Are we talking breaking up or are we talking cheating?

NAL: There are many things that come from not getting attention. If you're being neglected, and someone else comes along and gives you that missing piece of emotion that your significant other hasn't been giving you, that can mean a lot. That could make or break the relationship.

KE: Okay Nick, I just thought about this from what you said, and I want to get your opinion on it. Would you say that when it's sex that you're missing in a relationship, you cheat, but when it's an emotional connection that you're missing in a relationship, that's when you leave?

NAL: That's an excellent question. For women, I think 90% of them cheat, because they're missing something emotionally. For men, I think 90% cheat, because they see that piece of ass that's willing to give it up. Many times, that man is going to take that opportunity, no matter how much his woman is doing for him. As for women, when they have their man at home, acting right, giving her 98% or more, she won't do anything, no matter who rolls up, because she's thinking," what can he do for me that my man isn't already doing?"

KE: Okay, so when do people leave?

NAL: I agree with what you said, that leaving is based on emotions. If you really love this person, even if their sex game isn't right, you think about all the other things they do for you, and nothing else even matters. I honestly believe that 85% of relationships end, because of emotional insecurity; because of some emotional issue. I mean, about 5 out of 8 of my relationships have ended, because of a lack of emotional stability, sometimes on me, sometimes on the girl. This is why I get a little upset when women say "men aren't shit", when really, the only reason why we're getting put out there like that is, because we're the only one's being exposed. In my opinion, women are capable of doing the same things, but they're just slicker with theirs. There's a lot of women doing good men dirty, because he may not have enough, because he may be at the bottom, even though he has a plan to get to the top. And instead, they're getting with a dude who's an asshole, because he has the money. That's what a lot of them are looking for, easy money.

KE: You say that men are being profiled as dirty, and yet you also just said yourself that men can't help but cheat, regardless of the fact that they have a good woman at home. Is that not dirty? Not saying that women aren't capable of the same thing, but as you said, if we have something good at home, we're less likely to leave... less likely to mess it up. So, how does this put men in the clear?

NAL: I mean, even though every man has that gene in their body, that reproduction-by-any-means gene, you also have that thing in the back of your head that tells you to stop. To control it. But, the game is so messed up right now, that when there IS a good dude out there, chances are, the female will end up doing HIM dirty. It's a nasty game now. Men aren't how they used to be, women aren't how they used to be. I CAN understand where women are coming from. They've been dogged out for so long, that in their mind, they're like, "well I need to dog this dude out, before he gets to me", and once they get that in their brain, it's over, THAT'S IT, and they may mess up a good thing. BUT, you also have to look at it like, if a female has been dating since she was 15, and she's 30 something now, and she's STILL saying men aren't shit, then maybe she needs to reevaluate herself. She probably isn't attracting the right type of man.

KE: Rolling back to your original topic on attention, how does this all tie in?

NAL: Attention is a VERY important part of the relationship. You can have trust, and communication, and all that, but without the attention, it doesn't work. You have to make your significant other feel wanted, you have to take time out of your schedule just to let the other person know that you're thinking about them. A person is going to do what they want to do regardless, but attention is a requirement when trying to prevent your significant other from going out of bounds in your relationship. Without attention, no matter what else you have, the relationship isn't complete. You can't just have one thing and not the other. A relationship is a compilation of everything.

KE: Well Nick, thank you. I look forward to reading your piece on Wednesday.

NAL: Thank you, and I look forward to posting it and seeing how many people relate to it.